Matrescence, here’s what you need to know:
Are you a mother? Well if so, this might take you as a surprise but welcome to the matrescence club!
Why is it that pregnancy and childbirth are widely known, but matrescence is only very recently being acknowledged?! Is matrescence just another aspect of life mothers need to keep quiet about? Just another silent force shaping the lives of mothers everywhere? Well not if I can help it! As a positive psychology researcher and coach I’ve dedicated the best part of two years trying to understand more about the depths of matrescence to uncover what “they” don’t tell you about motherhood. So let’s use this guide to better equip mothers on understanding what happens to your mind and body during matrescence:
- Ok but what is Matrescence? Technically speaking matrescence refers to the process of becoming a mother. Meaning a mother is going through matrescence from conception until…well researchers can’t agree on an end date so lets say several years postpartum. More specifically, the term is used to encompass all the physical, emotional, and psychological changes that occur during this transition, and boy are there a LOT. It’s more profound than adolescence, but instead of navigating your place in the world for the first time, you’re navigating the nuanced changes to your shattered identity and body…all whilst learning to care for a precious tiny human.
- Let’s Get Physical: We all know and see the changes pregnancy brings; from the joyous “morning” sickness (that lasts day and night) to the plump skin and industrial strength shiny hair, as well as a few stretch marks here, there and everywhere. But matrescence goes beyond the bump. It involves the postpartum recovery which can be brutal in itself, the breastfeeding challenges which can feel crushing when it doesn’t go to plan, and of course the hormonal fluctuations that can impact everything from sleep patterns to skin texture – not to mention leaving you extremely sweaty!
- An Emotional Rollercoaster: One of the most profound aspects of matrescence is the emotional journey which unfortunately, no one can prepare you for. Everyone is different and doing their best to remain sane during a daily whirlwind of joy, fear, love, guilt, and everything in between. Many mothers experience mood swings and feel their mental health is deeply impacted which if left unsupported can lead to postpartum depression. That’s why it is so important for mothers to educate themselves on why they may be struggling or feeling lost – so they can get the help they need, realise this is all temporary and show themselves a little compassion!
- Shifting Relationships: Matrescence doesn’t just impact a mother; it affects her relationships too. Research has shown that partners, friends and family are all affected by a mother’s matrescence – good and bad. If you’re lucky enough to have a supportive partner who will pay attention to how these changes are impacting you, relationships may strengthen. However it can be a very confusing and difficult time for a co-parent to adjust too and this may require extra patience and effort in navigating your relationship.
- Self-Identity and Growth: Have you ever scrolled back to see pre-baby photos of yourself and thought: Who is she? I don’t know her! Beyond the physical changes – oh and the physical baby you’re nursing almost 24/7, mother’s priorities shift from “me” to “we”, goals evolve or disintegrate, and personal growth takes on a profound new meaning (if you have a moment to even consider it).
So there you have it! Matrescence is just the biggest transformative journey a woman will ever experience in her life. No biggy. OK but seriously, mother to mother, I implore anyone reading this who finds themselves struggling with motherhood to remember, you’re not alone on this journey—matrescence is a shared experience that even research needs to explore and understand better. I’m working on it, I promise!
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